That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
