Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
