i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
