You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
