I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize