I'm gonna have a badass scar
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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