you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
