so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
