Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Randomize
