What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
