We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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