Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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