So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
