He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
third nipple confirmed
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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