I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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