You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My liver just broke up with me...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
