So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
