And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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