No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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