We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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