There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
