No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
