I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
it was like eating out sand paper
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
