Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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