We're facebook friends in real life
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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