Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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