I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize