I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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