4 words: hood of his car
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
