Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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