I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
