I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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