Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
