i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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