I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
