So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
