I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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