I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
