i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
