How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
