somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
