Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize