Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
