so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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