Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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