I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
