what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
