I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
