I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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