"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
