dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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