bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
