Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
