if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I fill condoms, not promises.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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