I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
