Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
