I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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