How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
